“If you don’t care, than why should I?”

One of my most common self sabotaging thoughts is “if you don’t care, then why should I?”

I lose sight of my own values and principles by allowing other people’s actions and behaviours to affect me. I start behaving outside of my integrity, and it leads to resenting myself and others.

Not that long ago I would allow this to ruin several of my days, and as I’ve worked on it I’d let it ruin a few hours, until today, where I can work through it very quickly, sometimes only in a few minutes.

Here are the questions I ask myself to evaluate the thoughts and get myself back to where I need to be:

  1. Why am I so angry right now?
  2. In what ways are my ideals and values becoming the expectations for other peoples behaviour?
  3. How am I making my life more difficult than it needs to be?
  4. Why am I allowing other people lead me astray from my own values?
  5. Why am I allowing other people dictate my attitude?
  6. Why am I allowing other people take control of my happiness?
  7. Am I going to continue to let other people ruin my day?
  8. What would be different if I didn’t take this personally?
  9. What would be different if I believed that they are trying their best?

What’s the lesson?

I may not have control other people and their behaviour, but I do have complete control over how I respond to their actions and behaviour. There’s always a choice, and I get to choose how it affects me.

Why make life more difficult than it needs to be?

Why be miserable when I can be happy?

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