Stoicism

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What do I *really* own?

There are many things that I used to think I owned.

However, if someone can take it away from me, I don’t truly own it. And if I don’t truly own it, then I don’t have complete control over it.

Here are two short lists to help compare…

List 1 – Things that people can take away from me (things I don’t have complete control over):

  • Status
  • Reputation
  • Salary/money
  • Job/work

List 2 – Things people can’t take away from me (things I have complete control over):

  • Character
  • Philosophy
  • Wisdom
  • Self-control
  • Mindset

So, looking at these lists:

Q. Where am I focusing my attention and effort right now?
Q. The external, or the internal?
Q. The inputs, or the outputs?
Q. Where am I likely to find true happiness?

…List 1, or list 2? 👇🏻

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Stoicism at work…

  1. I don’t need to have an opinion about that
  2. Manage my expectations
  3. Never shocked or surprised
  4. Hope for the best, plan for the worst
  5. If it can be taken from me, I don’t truly own it (salary, status, reputation, job, etc)
  6. Don’t speak unless what I’m going to say isn’t better left unsaid
  7. Pick my battles carefully
  8. Know that people don’t make mistakes deliberately
  9. Learn from my mistakes and the mistakes of others
  10. Focus my energy on what I have complete control over
  11. Everyone is better than me at something
  12. Focus on the person, not the problem
  13. Know that I could be wrong
  14. Don’t take things personally
  15. Don’t take myself too seriously
  16. Don’t let fear control me
  17. It’s not about me

What’s a number from the list that you’d like to work on more in 2022?

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“If you don’t care, than why should I?”

One of my most common self sabotaging thoughts is “if you don’t care, then why should I?”

I lose sight of my own values and principles by allowing other people’s actions and behaviours to affect me. I start behaving outside of my integrity, and it leads to resenting myself and others.

Not that long ago I would allow this to ruin several of my days, and as I’ve worked on it I’d let it ruin a few hours, until today, where I can work through it very quickly, sometimes only in a few minutes.

Here are the questions I ask myself to evaluate the thoughts and get myself back to where I need to be:

  1. Why am I so angry right now?
  2. In what ways are my ideals and values becoming the expectations for other peoples behaviour?
  3. How am I making my life more difficult than it needs to be?
  4. Why am I allowing other people lead me astray from my own values?
  5. Why am I allowing other people dictate my attitude?
  6. Why am I allowing other people take control of my happiness?
  7. Am I going to continue to let other people ruin my day?
  8. What would be different if I didn’t take this personally?
  9. What would be different if I believed that they are trying their best?

What’s the lesson?

I may not have control other people and their behaviour, but I do have complete control over how I respond to their actions and behaviour. There’s always a choice, and I get to choose how it affects me.

Why make life more difficult than it needs to be?

Why be miserable when I can be happy?

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Stoic leadership: Leading through change…

  1. What’s good for the hive is good for the bee
  2. Everything is born from change
  3. Nothing is unending…it will pass
  4. Like a river, change is constantly flowing, and to resist change is to resist the inevitable.
  5. Take a beat – don’t let my emotions rush me
  6. The only way out is through
  7. I don’t have to have an opinion (It’s neither good or bad, it just is)
  8. Focus on what I have complete control over (how I respond)
  9. Be wary of the perceiving eye (stay rooted in reality)
  10. Change is often worse in imagination that in reality
  11. Don’t take it personally
  12. I could be wrong
  13. Don’t make assumptions

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