My letters are typically published via email to your inbox, and I select a few every now and again to feature on the blog. Letter X was originally published by email on 30th June 2019, and was re-published on the blog on 26th November 2019. Subscribe at chrismarr.co.uk
For more than 10 years I’ve searched for the answer to something that’s been missing from my life.
How did I know something was missing?
- I didn’t know what to do in everyday situations.
- I didn’t know how to say the right thing.
- I was easily led and mimicked other people’s behaviour.
- To feel confident in a room I needed to feel like the smartest/most important.
- I spent a lot of my time judging people and complaining.
- I buried my feelings, didn’t talk about them and pretended like I had it all under control.
When you peer just below the surface, ultimately what you see is a young man that doesn’t really know who he is.
I became aware of all of this in a single work-related moment a few years ago.
I saw clearly why I would never become the teacher and coach I so badly wanted to be. If I wasn’t prepared to be honest with myself, to open up to myself, to understand myself and to ultimately be confident in my own skin, I would never be able to get to the level where I can help people to the best of my ability.
I had the skills, the techniques, the people to work with, the mentorship. I’ve read all the books, I’ve watched the videos and I’ve got all the right people around me.
I didn’t need more external input. I didn’t need to put more in. I needed to go inward.
The answer to my next stage of growth was inside of me.Continue reading →